moaning

When Friendships Vanish

Sod the f-ing lot of ’em! If they cared they would bother!

A few times, this thought has crossed my mind, and I think it might finally be sticking in my head.
Now, if you know me in real life, you know that I like to have a good moan (about pretty much everything). If you know me just through my blogging, you may have noticed that I like to keep it very light hearted and a happy read. But today, i’m going to have a good old moan. And this may shock a few people that I know. I will be with with holding names, so not to embarrass anyone (despite me thinking that these people should be names and shamed)….

Friends. I HAD people that I thought were friends. I trusted them, had fun with them, got mega drunk and did stupid things with them. I told them secrets and stayed up all night chatting with them. THEN I had kids. I suddenly became shit. I was boring, I couldn’t party until the small hours (quite frankly I didn’t want to either), all my sexy secrets dried up, and I was not the cool, fun party animal I used to be. Their texts to me slowly diminished, seeing them became awkward and they just didn’t seem to care any more.
When I got married I had 4 bridesmaids. I remain in contact with just one of them. I even had to pretend to be happy to them on my wedding morning, when secretly I was fuming that 3 of them ended up going out drinking on my wedding eve, instead of coming to mine. Not to mention, my husband-to-be, my 9month old daughter and my father-in-law ended up in a car accident that night, coming off the icy road down an isolated village lane. I wanted them there to comfort me. At least I had Dani, and my wedding photographer Albert… (Lol!)

And from that moment texts dried up even more and more, I didn’t get phone calls and rare visits became even more God-Awfully awkward. They didn’t ask how my new pregnancy was going, and they didn’t even known when I was moving house, away from town. They didn’t even know I had developed PND and was quite ill at times. Right to the point now, where it feels awkward even seeing their faces on Facebook. They haven’t even congratulated us on the birth of baby Olive, when once they were all over me when pregnant with Willow.

But, all is not doom and gloom. I now live in the small town where my heart lies (we even worked out at a family BBQ that 6 generations, including me and my babies, all lived down one street!), and I know who my true friends are. They text every day, and I tend to see them several times a week. And we have FUN. Oh yeah…. And we all have kids!

Now, I know I will probably get slated for this blog post by some people, and I will be the devil for writing it, but Im taking it as a way of therapy, to finally get it out in the air. I have hidden these silly little thoughts for a long, long time now but now I feel a little lighter.
My word of advice to anyone who’s going through what I went through is- ‘Sod the f-ing lot of ’em! If they cared, they would bother!’
X

Friendships can be a bit of a wreck….. A bit like the car that my family were in on our wedding eve!

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Hazel Newhouse

Hazel is a mum to 3 daughters and a son, she lives in Bedfordshire with her husband, kids and pets. Hazel has written for various publications, and regularly works alongside popular parenting and gardening brands.

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3 Comments

  1. Angela Parker says:

    Well said. Friendships , relationships all change . Location, marriage breakdowns, general changes in life cause the pathways of lives to take different directions. Our relationship has took twists and turns. You can’t see what tomorrow brings so love who you have close by and stay happy with those who bring you genuine happiness xx

  2. Tina says:

    I know just how u feel sweetheart I really do. What I find is that when I meet people they think they want to be part of my life but then once there in it they claim they cant handle it mainly mine and my daughters problems. Who had just been diagnosed with ehlers danlos syndrome on top of everything else. It is heart breaking snd o have no one knock on my door thease days and I sometimes wonder bif its even worth having s fone, in fact if it wasn’t for great ormand st I probably wouldent.

    1. Tina says:

      Forgot the kisses xx Do miss ya hunni x

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