Sad news in the Newhouse home. Rocky the Hamster passed away. He was laying on his back, in his bed, legs spread eagled dead. He looked so (un)peaceful. It was probably a heart attack or something.
O.k, I am not actually that sad. He was a bastard. I hated it when I had to clean him out or feed him… he would attack my hands. I cannot count the amount of times he declared war on my fingers. And left me scarred and bleeding.
He had testicles bigger than his head. They were so big, that his little hamster feet could hardly touch the floor.
He decided that 1am was an acceptable time to play in his squeeky wheel and chew on the metal bars, causing the loudest ‘Pinging’ noise ever.
I even once found him on the bathroom floor, when I was mid pee… how he escaped, to this day is still a mystery. There was no way he could have exited his cage. And he bit me when I tried to return him to his hell pit…. oops I mean home!
He was the definition of all things evil. But he was a family pet, and he was loved despite his nastiness. He is now buried in out back garden next to the rhubarb patch.
R.I.P Rocky (the bastard!)
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