Today is World Book Day. Kids across the country get dressed into amazing costumes and topped with hilarious wigs. At the end of the day they shall run home clutching a voucher for a £1 book. Fantastic idea! But, I have a few issues…
World BOOK day (WBD)
It’s about books. BOOOOOKS. Not cartoon characters, Disney princesses or even f***king TOYS (I saw a Lego man on Social Media last night.) I am sick of parents thinking that it is an acceptable option to send your kid to school as something that HAS NEVER BEEN FOUND IN A BOOK.
Sending your kid into school dressed as Hannibal Lecter… it’s not an unacceptable suggestion. HE’S A BOOK CHARACTER!!! Or how about Pennywise from the Stephen King classic IT? You could even complete the outfit with fun helium balloons.
Do you not feel guilty that Little Jimmy hasn’t attended class dressed as Jesus (the Bible, obvs) or one of the Little Women (Louisa May Alcott, anyone)? BUT seeing kids heading into big school dressed as a F**KING TROLL?! is not on. Not ever. Do you even read to your kids or just plonk them in front of Netflix?
Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman are all barely passable. I get that it’s a Comic BOOK but its a comic. Not a written work of genius like a real novel. Don’t be a cop out.
I was a decent parent. I thought of a book character- it was MY idea- and I created the costume! No way would Willow have chosen Hermione Granger by herself. She had no say in the matter. She would have chosen that fake, stuck up b*tch Elsa, like 99% of girls under the age of 6 chose to be as a last minute decision. Instead I sacrificed my black bedsheet as a f**king cape and sewed it MYSELF on my Singer sewing machine!!! The brand Singer is important here.
I DID NOT visit ASDA at 6pm and choose some cheaply made costume, created by children in China who don’t have the opportunity to buy £1 books or even go to school. Fireman, Police and Shopkins costumes all created sh*ttier than an Ann Summers costume. And ladies, we all know how tacky and itchy those things are.
What’s the point of even going to school on World Book Day if your child is not even dressed as a character from a book, from a homemade costume sewn with love for hours the evening before? There is no point! Keep your bratty kid off for the day and plonk them in front of a Blu Ray version of 50 Shades Of Grey… One of the best book to film adaptations going.
*I have sold my soul to the devil, in exchange for honest humour for this blog post* Blogger in-joke.
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