Dear First Born Daughter

Dear Willow 

On the 9th of March 6 years ago I became a mum for the 1st time. I gave birth to you, my daughter. It was scary, it was new and it was strange. You’ve taught me lots of things in the shortest amount of time. Many times I have doubted that I could look after you properly or bring you up well enough. I live in fear of thinking that I’ve done things wrong. I’m trying to bring you up to be a clever, polite, well mannered little girl and I think I’m doing alright right… so far. You are doing amazingly at life, people always comment on how lovely you are. These people tell me that I am wrong to ever doubt myself, and that I really am an amazing mother. I must be doing something right, so maybe I should start listening to these people, I think they could be correct. You are perfect in every way.

Willow of the Newhouse family

Most of the kids in your class at school are the youngest member of their family. They don’t have any smaller brothers or sisters. If they do, they are only just welcoming new brothers and sisters into their lives. But, you already have three small sisters and a brother. Sometimes I feel guilty that you’ve had to grow up so fast or that I should have spent more time with just you, before introducing new members into our family. Don’t get me wrong, I would NEVER turn back the clock or change anything but I just wish I had more cuddles with you as an only child. You’ve had to be ‘the big girl’ for as long as you can remember. 

When you arrived 6 years ago, little did we know that in another 6 short years I’d marry your daddy, you would have two more sisters and a baby brother arrive so quickly. Time really does go very fast. In just the blink of an eye, everything changes. But you’ve always remained a beautiful, polite, clever little girl. You have never struggled to adjust to new siblings, new houses, or a new way of life. You take everything in your stride and your ability to adjust makes me very proud indeed.

Despite that I am always moaning that I have so many jobs to do- a million thoughts running through my head, I still always remember the first time that you smiled, the first time you had a cold, the 1st bath you ever had and you first steps that you took. I remember your first day at school, the first book you brought home and I remember how happy you looked every time and how proud I felt. 

One day you will find love. You will find someone who you can’t bear to be apart from. It’s how I feel about your daddy. You may want a child of your own. You may want 10 children of your own. But there are a few things I want to tell you first to help you prepare.

  1. It is ok to be scared. You’re allowed to live your life with a little worry or confusion. It is human nature. You will learn to deal with these emotions. You become a better person with a little life experience.
  2. Admit to your mistakes. There are lots of mistakes that I made before you arrived and there are lots of mistakes I’ve made since you arrived. These mistakes have helped me to become the mother that I am today. I do try hard to get things right the 1st time. I also lose my temper, I cry, and I struggle to smile some days. But when you look into the face of your baby you will realise that everything is ok. The world will keep spinning and tomorrow is a new day. 
  3. Don’t feel like money is everything. I was once very, very poor. I owned nothing, I had no money and no home.  I am now living a comfortable life. Despite having a completely different life now, I have learnt that it is ok to watch the pennies. Sometimes I don’t give in and buy you or your siblings treats or sweets. That is because I want you to understand that buying things isn’t necessary to make you happy. You will see people splash the cash, go on expensive holidays and always buying new things- but are they really happy? My family makes me happy, you make me happy… not our bank account. 
  4. You can never give too many cuddles. Sometimes I worry that I didn’t cuddle you enough.  Sometimes I worry that I STILL don’t cuddle you enough. When your brothers and sisters arrived and I felt like I cuddled them more. I want you to know that you can still come up to me and give me a cuddle no matter how old you are or how you feel. I want you to cuddle me right until you an adult and you have your own children and then I want your children to cuddle me. I will make up for the lost cuddles. I promise.
  5. If people call you names, say that you’re crazy or say that your dreams are too big- don’t ever listen to them. If you want to do something weird or wonderful just do it, as long as you are safe and happy that is all that I care. Get that tattoo, jump out of a plane… run around like a Power Ranger! Please only do the first two after the age of 18 though!! 
  6. Don’t worry about the future. Everything will be OK. Your dad and I shall be there for you. We will do whatever we can to help you and whatever we can to make you happy. Be that Today, Tomorrow or in 10 years’ time. 

So I as I write this letter today, a few days past your 6th birthday, I want to keep a note of it and keep it safe forever. One day I will show you this list and I want you to keep it somewhere safe. One day, I want you to show your own children.

Willow, I love you I will always love you forever and ever.

Lots of love, Mummy x

This post was written in collaboration with Vicks Baby Rub. A superb relief for babies with colds and stuffy little noses.  Vicks BabyRub is a cosmetic, non-medicated product for babies aged six months and older.

Vicks BabyRub

I mention in my letter to Willow that I remembered her 1st ever cold. I felt so helpless seeing her struggling to breathe with a blocked nose and heavy chest. Together with dad’s loving touch, we cuddled her better and steamed classic Vicks. But now, there is a much better method to help your baby. Obviously, your baby still needs lots of loving cuddles but now you can use Vicks BabyRub to moisturise, soothe and help your baby to feel relaxed- even during the tough times. It is the first of its kind and is a multipurpose product providing moisturising & soothing comfort for delicate skin.

Vicks BabyRub smells amazing! It features mild fragrances of Rosemary, Lavender and Aloe Vera. If you are familiar with the classic scent of Vicks, then Vicks BabyRub is very similar just slightly milder, with the added relaxing aromas from the herbal ingredients.
Vicks BabyRub isn’t just for colds and runny noses. It can be used at any time of the day to help to wind down and settle your baby. I’ve started using Vicks BabyRub after bath times to help calm and wind down Jimmy. He has a bath, we spend time massaging in the Vicks BabyRub and he is then breastfed to sleep. The beautiful aroma makes both of us feel so relaxed. Baby massage can help soothe your baby during unsettled times and it’s a great way to bond with your baby. Some of these scenarios include:
  – After bath and before bedtime
  – If your baby is irritable through teething
  – Before nap time
  – If your baby is unsettled due to feeling unwell
  – If your baby is overtired/over stimulated
  – If your baby’s routine has changed; have they dropped a day nap or has the season /clocks change
Vicks BabyRub isn’t greasy and massages easily into baby’s skin. It is a perfect addition to baby’s daily routine, and is great for cough’s, colds and stuffy noses too… for the whole family!

This post is an entry for BritMums #VicksBabyRub Challenge, sponsored by Vicks BabyRub. Specially designed for babies aged 6 months and over, Vicks BabyRub is available at Boots, Superdrug, Tesco, Asda, Waitrose and all good pharmacy chains. RRP £3.99.

Author: Hazel Newhouse

Hazel is a mum to 3 young daughters, she lives in Bedfordshire with her husband, kids and pets. Hazel has written for various publications, and regularly works alongside popular parenting brands.

9 thoughts on “Dear First Born Daughter”

  1. Ah a beautiful post and letter to your daughter. I think as mum’s we always think we may not have done everything right but as long as everyone is happy then that’s all that matters

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