Well 2020 was somewhat of a massive write off wasn’t it?! I welcomed in 2020 at home, with my husband and kids. We watched the fireworks at midnight, shared a kiss and everything was fine. 3 months later, nothing was fine. It was far from it.
Covid was taking over the world (and still is), my marriage was quickly breaking down and I didn’t have the mental capacity to push on in the garden.
By June I was a single mum. By July I was well on my way to a mental break down, by August I had false and extremely malicious lies told to the social services about me- by
people family less than perfect who wanted to make themselves feel better. I had the police round, child services checking up on me and I had to prove my innocence. It only took 24 hours for them to see it was a malicious report but it’s still damaged me for the rest of my life. That month saw me meet a man, that became my boyfriend and he supported me in this weird divorce battle. He saved my life (literally) and showed me that everything could be OK. We only met for a Wetherspoons’ breakfast and to talk about cars and motorbikes. But, you can’t help who you fall for.
The remaining months of the year passed, with lots of tears, anger and confusion. I said ‘Good Bye’ to family members too. Members I have no interest in forgiving.
Covid was not my priority. It sucked, but it wasn’t the worst part of 2020.
Look for the Good in the world
Alongside meeting my partner, there has been some wonderful moments this year. I found out who my real friends are. My true friends. I made new friends too. Ones that have my back more than any other people I have met through life.
We took impromptu camping trips, got sunburn, stupid tattoos, girlie days out, hyped our kids up, drank copious amounts of coffee, span donuts in car parks and supported each other during the pandemic. They supported me while I healed.
When Covid restrictions lifted, I took a camping trip away with my kids and members of our car club. I started writing again. I got my house in order- after it was left in an awful state. We went to car shows- I somehow managed to break my ankle at one. That would seem like a negative but oh we giggled- despite the pain!
I am now having therapy. I’ve been taught to fall in love with my hobbies again. I’m crocheting once more and getting the garden back to how it looked last year. I’m excited to start growing things again and falling in love with that space, like I used to. I’ve already been sorting seeds and prepping the growing spaces. There’s still a lot of weeds to clear though- fun.
Now, for those of you who think that come the strike of midnight a wave of magic will sweep the world and Covid will vanish, I hate to be the realist here, but we still have a long road to travel before things start going back to normal. If they ever do.
Your future is what you make of it. If it’s shit now and you continue to think it’s shit, it most certainly shall continue to be shit.
Find what you love in life and work on those things. Put your all into them. 100% dedication. If it makes you happy, however insignificant it may be, just do it.
If there’s something you don’t like, fuck it off. Get rid of it. Put it in the bin. Dump it. Divorce it. Heck! Murder it if you want to (just don’t get caught!).
If anything, this year should have taught us all not to take anything for granted and that we could be cut short at any given time. Why waste our lives trying to please others or confirm to expectations? Make yourself happy in 2021. That’s all that matters.
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