The Big Berkhamstead Penis

You read that right. They may be a few of you who think I’m talking about a person in particular, but I’m actually referring to the new map of Betkhamstead that had been produced to show the ‘best bits’ of the town.
It’s pretty obvious what it looks like and I’m not going to hold back that there are certain bits drawn in that make it look even more like a huge willy.
The bridge at the end : bell end
The anal running through: it’s ‘pipe’
And I won’t even mention too much about Waitrose being the top b*****ks!

Berkhamstead Penis

So, are we just being immature and we should all grow up or do you think that the map should be redrawn?

Add your Comments folks!

Mr Grey Will See You Now

Those are the words that many women across the globe fantasize about hearing.

Christian Trevelyan Grey. The young, sexy, charming, business man. Good in the board room but freakin’ amazing in The Red Room.

When us ladies close our eyes and think of Mr. Grey what do we see? His muscular body maybe. Or perhaps him and Ana in the lift? Or how about that iconic tie?

The elegant Christian Grey tie has become a symbol of the books (and very soon to be movies- squeeek) and it seems is just as well known and thought about as his love affair with Ana itself.

Presents For Men are one of the few UK retailers that are truly helping to make every woman’s fantasy a reality. The 50 Shades of Grey Tie is now available in their gifts for men section. You won’t find it available from many other outlets in the run up to Christmas.

The tie, an exact copy of the one from the front cover of the first novel by E L James, is from the “official pleasure” collection – and is designed to turn your other half into your very own Christian Grey.

The tie is of a lovely quality, and as good as anything you could pick up in a high street store. And yup, it is a dead ringer for the exact tie on the front cover, but includes a label on the back with Mr Grey’s signature.

What you choose to do with the tie is up to you… I like to think of Jay wearing it in the board room!

Official Christian Grey Tie

 

Shades of Grey - Christian Grey Tie

Wills and You: Protecting your Inheritance

I didn’t know too much about wills – I don’t have one yet – but after reading this guest post from David at Coles, I can certainly say, I’ll be looking into getting one written up.

Do you have a Will?

A recent report conducted by the BBC revealed that around 30% of people in the UK do not currently have a will prepared. Working in the legal sector, dealing with daily cases of premature death and the distribution of inheritance, I, and all of my Coles-Law family law colleagues understand precisely what a burden this can be for those left behind.

If you’re reading this, then, and are one of the 7 out of 10 people who are still strolling through life unaware of the risk you’re taking, read on.

Dying without a Will

Now, it might seem like a relatively trivial burden in the face of the loss of a loved one: The sudden realisation that the entire estate of the deceased rests in limbo. In my experience, however, this trivial pain in the behind becomes suddenly relevant as soon as funeral costs, the fair distribution of inheritance and – in the worst cases – the sudden realisation that the deceased’s estate is now in the hands of the State raise their ugly head.

So what will Happen?

The consequences of not preparing a will prior to passing are long, complicated and, of course, specific to circumstance. The effects range in severity depending on several factors: The marital status of the deceased, whether the deceased has children and the number of surviving blood relatives. In order to parse through these cases, then, the inheritance must work their way through one of the most convoluted and infuriating branches of out ever-litigous society: The UK intestacy laws.

As an example, the likely outcome to an unmarried man dying with no surviving blood relatives will in almost all cases end with the inheritance in the pockets of the Crown. In fact, in 2010, the State made a reported ₤53 million from people who died intestate (i.e. without a will), an actual reduction to the ₤73 million made in 2009.

The more blood relatives you factor in, however, the more the outcome becomes convoluted – especially in cases where children are involved.

Dying Intestate as a Parent

If you were to die intestate, married, and survived by a child, then there are many factors to consider. Firstly, who owns the house? Did you purchase it before your wedding? If so, regardless how much of the mortgage your spouse has paid, how many bills, how much of the maintenance; if your spouse is not officially on the deed of the property then the whole value of the property will not pass to the spouse. Only the first ₤250,000 will be given to your partner, while half of the remainder will be given to the child, or shared out among the children. Your spouse would then get a life interest in the remaining half of the estate, i.e., the corresponding half of the amount shared between the children. This means that even though this amount is not immediately tangible, as in it cannot be sold off for money, your spouse would still benefit from any interest it accrues or any other indirect financial benefits this portion of your estate allows. Now, this might not sound like a bad scenario – everyone gets a piece of the pie, right? Well, that is assuming your estate goes beyond the GBP 250,000 mark. If not, your partner would not receive a penny. You’re also given no control about where the fruits of your labour end up. Want to leave something to the neighbour you lived next to for forty years who became just as much a part of the family as your own blood relatives? Or want to leave a little more to the child supporting their family on a low-paying job? Well, without a will – you can’t.

A Real Life Example

Let’s take a look at a real life example in the hope that it will encourage you to think a little more about your own situation.

In 2009, Richard Moore died suddenly, leaving no prepared arrangements and no will to disseminate his estate. Therefore, the decision was left to the State, who followed the Intestacy Laws to the letter, and divided his estate up equally between his two surviving parents. Unfortunately for Mr Moore’s family, however, his father had left him and his family as a child, and Richard never even received as much as a Christmas card from this man who was now granted half of his fortune.  And the tragedy doesn’t end there. It was the onus of Mr Moore’s mother, as the beneficiary of the other half of his fortune, to track down her ex-husband to give him what he was due. Not only this, but Mr Moore’s mother had to cover the entire financial burden herself, including the legal fees incurred. This meant the family had to eventually sell off all of Mr Moore’s possessions – his entire estate, from the home to his CD collection, was sold to cover these fees – all for a man who had been little more than a stranger throughout the life of Richard Moore.

This example is unfortunately not a rare case. Intestate deaths occur on a daily basis, and the story of Mr Moore’s is repeated all too often. It only costs around ₤85 to draft an official will, and you can even pick up DIY packs for around ₤10 in most large book stores.

It is really not worth it to leave it until it is too late. Who knows what will happen tomorrow? Regardless of your age, your job or your financial situation, make sure you decide who gets what after you die.

A Breastful Collage

A WINNING GOAL FOR LIFE!

From the 1st-7th of August, the BosomMammas of the world unite to celebrate World Breastfeeding Week. Same dates, every year. Its a time for us to reflect and remember those wonderful nursing moments past and present, let the world know that breastfeeding is normal, and it should never be hidden. It’s also a time for us to teach others the importance of breastfeeding and where any future parents or those with struggles now where to find information, groups, people and friends who can help them with advice and support. Increasing and sustaining the importance of protecting, sustaining and support of breastfeeding.

I decided this year to contact my friends and family who have breastfed or are currently nursing their babies for personal photographs of them feeding their infants. So many different babies, so many different women, so many different breasts, but most importantly so many different stories.

Stories of tongue-tie, mastitis, thrush, latching problems, supply problems, flat nipples and even the odd inverted nipple. Big boobs. Small boobs. Premie babies. Over due babies. Multiple Babies. Natural births and caesarean sections. Oh, and the bearded Hos… Don’t ask. He’s in here too.

All united in one beautiful natural act.

So, as this week of celebration draws to a close, A huge thank you to all of our family and friends, our husbands and partners, our midwives and doulas. All of those who supported each and every one of us in our breastfeeding journeys. You are all amazing. Oh, and our babies.

 

Dreambaby Hallway Security Gate Review

With two small children constantly trailing behind me, I am all too well aware of the importance of a well fitted safe baby gate. In my house I have one between the kitchen and the living room and one in the doorway of the girls’ bedroom to stop them wandering across the landing in the night. But I really wanted one to fit across the hallway to stop the girls from going up the stairs. I like the idea of dividing ‘zones’ in the house for safety and so I know that if I need the girls in one place they can stay there without the risk of them injuring themselves or running off.

The baby gates that we already have fitted in the house only fit across doorways and none of them were wide enough to fit across the hallway to stop the kids from getting up the stairs. We cannot fit a gate across the actual stair case, as the wooden bannister does not feel strong enough to fit a baby gate tight and safely enough, not to mention that the plaster does not feel thick enough either to take the gate safely.
The Dreambaby hallway security gate, is perfectly wide enough to fit across the hallway perfectly without the need for putting a gate across the stair way and risking damage to the property. The hallway gate firs openings 97-108cm but can extend up to an impressive 3.01m with optional gate extensions.

The gate looks very modern and sleek, in a lovely shiny black. It opens up in both directions and swings itself closed automatically if left open, avoiding any accidents if the gate was to be left open by anyone. If you did wish to fit this stair gate across a stair way with bannisters you can buy adapters (sold separately) for the gate if you should wish. If found it very handy that you only need to use one hand to open the gate, which is very useful if you have a sleeping baby in one arm, and you need to get upstairs to lay her down in her cot (can you tell that I have experienced this- with ease!) The gate also has a lower latch fitted to the bottom of the gate for extra safety. This means that should the top latch be opened the gate will still not open without it being lifted out of the latch. This is a very simple movement that is no effort at all for us adults, but a child could not lift the gate to open it.

Fitting the gate was very easy – much easier than other gates we have had in the past. It was not difficult to extend the fittings into the mounting cups, nor was it hard to close the “gap”. We didn’t have to use any tools to get it set up, and it only took two or three minutes to get it up and operational. I didn’t hear any “tutting” or “hummphhing” from Jay, so that is always a bonus!
The thing to remember with using a stair gate is that they must work! If they keep your child safe, your mind at ease and keeps your house and possessions safe then it’s great.

 

For those household things that a baby security gate cant secure, maybe it’s time to think about home insurance. Its always worth checking out what your home insurance can cover, giving you and the whole family a much sounder peace of mind.