Thermal Wear In Summer

Oooh yes, you read that correctly! How weird does that sound?

We love a good picnic and we love a good BBQ and whats better than to cook up some delicious grub on the barbie, and please the kids with a picnic all at once?! Not much actually.

The kids are always begging for a picnic. Anything which involves eating food outside on a comfy blanket is classed as a picnic to our Willow, She loves it! We all have to sit in a circle and watch her eat every thing in sight, normally the food off of our plates as well. Olive, on the other hand likes to just get it everywhere, sit on anything edible, climb all over us with sticky hands and then finally eat it all.

So, we fire up the BBQ, butter a shed load of rolls, whack as much meat on to the grill as we can, chop up the lettuce and I make my signature garlic bread and then we fill our bellies silly!

Unfortunately, even in the summer my circulation can suffer. I have a condition that means if my legs are bare and the temperature drops suddenly, my circulation can really struggle leaving my legs black, mottled and numb and me wincing in pain and if I am really unlucky, a trip to A&E is on the cards. So, on a lovely summers evening, as the sun sets I often find myself going a funny colour. I have relied on Heat Holders for a long while now to help me keep warm (even on hot summer nights!) and their socks are just perfect for my cold sensitive feet and ankles. My girls often moan that their feet are cold also so the children’s socks keep them happy also, Willow loves the fluffy inside of the socks and keeps quoting Monsters Inc’ “ITS SOOO FLUFFFY!”, keeps her happy eh!?

Now, back to the picnic… what keeps your bottom warm when all you have to sit on is your boring hard ‘grass’? Heat Holder’s super fluffy blanket! Oh my, I can actually promise you that I have never actually felt a blanket so snuggly in my whole life as this baby! We only sat on it for a while, then I swapped it over and wrapped myself up in the blanket for the rest of the BBQ! I swear, I could have been naked up Mt.Everest, but if I was wrapped in that divine blanked of yumminess I would have been safe and happy.

So we munched and we munched, and I kept warm. No blue toes or sore numbness all evening… oooh and we even finished of the picnic with strawberries and cream! Yummmmmmmmy!!

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…7 Years Bad Luck!?

Agh…… Bollocks!

a broken mirror equals seven years bad luck

Technically I didn’t break it, the wind blew my mirror over… So does it still count?

Do you have any superstitions?

I always nod to a single Magpie, whilst saying quiely “Hello Mr. Magpie, how’s your wife” …. Because one for sorrow, two for joy, right?

Never stand on a crack in the pavement? (Nightmare if you have crazy paving though!) Say ‘White Rabbits’ first thing in the morning on the first day of the month?

How do you throw your salt?

Or do you know any unusual superstitions?

For The Curios

There is a shop tucked away somewhere in the deep murky depths of Milton Keynes. A shop in a loft  to be precise, and the area of MK is Little Brickhill. The 2 year old shop is one of mystery and wonder. A celebration of freaks, death and the bizarre. The shop is Crystal Curios Emporium and it is the only one of its kind around these parts. You certainly wont find any glass eyeballs or eerie photographs of dead Victorians any where else in MK, well none that you can buy anyway.

weird shop MK

This blog never really gives much of an insight into my freaky interests. I am always seen as ‘just mum’ on here, But those of you who know me in person, know that I like my things a little bit creepy. My pretty little bookshelf is decorated with various skulls and dead stuffed things… along side pictures of my kids and little cute ornaments. Yup… I like things a little bit strange….

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As you head up the stairs into the shop, you are welcomed by strange oddities hung from the walls and stair bannister… just to give you a little warm up for things to come. When you step into the shop, prepare yourself for a little squeal (of delight from me and listen out for the squeal from my daddy’s wallet) before your eyes, is just every surface and wall space covered in the beautifully bizarre.

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The shop specialises in amazingly prepared taxidermy, but not just your usual owls, deer and buffalo heads. As you can see above you can grab a unique piece of stuffed art! When you have a look around the shop, you will notice rare stuffed magical creatures such as flying Crabbits (crow/rabbits) and Crazy Squirrelpie’s (squirrel/magpie) you get my drift….

funny taxidermy to buy

stuffed duckling

There are always plenty of duckling’s too for you to take home at just a cheeeep (cheap! Geddit!?) £9.99, I think a small army of cute looking ducklings would look Quackers on the mantle piece…. OK I’ll stop now with the crap jokes. Here is my litte Quackmire (sorry I couldn’t resist. I promise, no more) sat in his tea cup on my book shelf.

human skull to buy

If you don’t fancy dead stuffed things, you can pick up some incredible Momento Mori, including some coffin plaques and even some amazing Victorian photographs on the dead aka post-mortem photography… taken in hope that the soul of the dead would live on through the image.

gimp mask to buy

Or maybe pick up a pretty dress from the wardrobe to buy for your Xmas party! Or perhaps if a dress isn’t your thing… a gimp mask, again for that party, your boss will LOVE it! But then again, if you are struggling to think of that perfect gift for the virgin in your life, get them something that will REALLY turn them into a pussy magnet….. yup, that’s a magnet, and ‘that’s’ not mine. I swear.

vagina magnet mould

Ooh, I will add… If you see this driving around the town…. it’s only Ian doing is deliveries or collecting something new for his shop! Give him a friendly wave, but don’t forget to remove your hat!

hearse in MKIf you are interested in seeing what else Crystal Curios has to offer you, don’t forget to visit their Facebook page here.

The shop is ran by the lovely Ian, and is open Every weekend from 10am- 5pm and can open at other times by special request. If the shop does not stock what you are looking for they can also try their hardest to locate an item for you.

tel- 01525 261583 /   07921771719

George Farm, Little Brickhill, Milton Keynes, MK17 9LT

www.crystal-curios.com

info@crystal-curios.com

I Am A Happy Woman

…despite what the stereotype suggests.

I am a house wife. I look after my daughters 24/7. I am a full time cleaner. I am a cook. I am a nurse. A therapist. A health and safety inspector. A builder. A boxing match referee. I am a personal shopper. I am I am a mother. I am a wife.

What does this stereotypical house wife feel like? She must feel tired from being on her feet all day, she must be quite lonely in fact.
What does she look like? Probably a mess. No make up and her clothes are dirty and stained with cleaning products and baby food.
What does she do all day? Clean clean and clean, she most definitely does not have time for anything else! Hell no! As long as her husbands dinner is on the table ready for when he comes home.
She must feel like crap having no money of her own, and her husband keeps a close eye on the finances.
And at night? She must just climb into bed exhausted and fall straight asleep (only for baby to wake her up a few hours later) or she just has a quick shag to keep her husband happy.

These thoughts my dears friends, are real thoughts by educated adult human beings. And I am sure as hell confident that most of them at some point has been suggested about me. To my face or behind my back.

Well guess what ladies…. All that is big fat BS!
I am the happiest I have ever been in my life. Yup, I cook and I clean (what feels like non-stop) but I also play and laugh and 80% of the time I look smart and presentable, I even roll my hair in the morning on some days! Although I am still yet to master the art of finding time for that morning shower…

I am incredibly lucky. My husband is the most wonderful man on earth. He helps me. He never moans if his dinner isn’t on the the table- he offers to cook it, he never bitches when the house is a mess- because he finds us all at the bottom of the garden covered in mud. He accepts it when I am tired and I just want to flop onto the sofa and look at him when the kids start fighting, and guess what ladies? He even gets up in the night with the kids.
Oh, I forgot to add, my husband is also HAPPY!
We have never had a blazing row, we have bickered maybe 2-3 times at the most, we say ‘I love you’ every night before we go to sleep, and we remind each other how happy we are with the simple things in life.

He keeps me as an individual, and while we can’t afford nights down the pub or go to rock gigs every week, we make the most of what we have. With a cuddle. We never have baby sitters (I think we have had the girls watched 3 times and we always picked them up again at bed time, we have never left them) and I don’t care! We don’t ever go on holiday (the last break we took was to Eastbourne when I was 12 weeks pregnant with Willow our first born, and that was only for one night!) but we are taking our first ever cheapie family holiday later this year to Clacton.

What I am trying to say ladies, is that I do fight for women’s rights, I strongly believe in the passion of both parents sharing the ‘work’ load, I don’t believe a woman should be a slave to the kitchen. I strongly believe women are equal to men!

BUT, if you are happy at home and it makes your family strong then do it!
Spend time with your children, spend time with your husband/fiancé/boyfriend, but just keep each other happy. Sexually, emotionally and well… With good food!
I earn some small money working on bits here and there, not a lot but it’s extra house keeping, I am still independent.
I also like my house to look and stay clean – dirty is different to messy, a clean house can still be lived in and look untidy now and then. Toys and science experiments are happy mess, food mushed into my carpet and muddy shoes on in the house are bad mess.

So, next time you fit a housewife into this stereotypical frame, think twice, maybe she is happier here than you think, and she isn’t at all what you imagined her to be.

She’s an independent. She performs magic. She is beautiful. She is a woman… Not a mug!

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Oh, This Old Thing

I had a pine table floating around for years. It was scratched, dull, one leg was near to falling off and it was … Useless. The kids occasionally sat at it to do some drawing or eat a sandwich, and was always covered in something sticky!

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It needed reviving and fast, I didn’t want to send it to the tip.

I had some wallpaper samples laying around the house that I no longer needed and I figured I would try to cover the table. Some call it decoupage… I call it glorious gift wrapping. ;)

I started by sanding the top down to bare wood….

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I then measured and cut my paper, making sure that I had at least 1cm to fold over the edges so the top has a tidy finish. I cut a pretty bird out of another sheet of wallpaper to stick on as an extra deco. I could have gone crazy here with lots of extras but I decided to keep it simple.

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I put a thin layer of Copydex glue all over the top of the table (PVA would work fine too) and slowly rolled the paper into place. Using a long ruler I pushed out any air bubbles, getting the paper as flat and smooth to the wood as possible.
I then folded the edges over and glued into place underneath. I did need to snip the corners so the pare say flat.
I finished by adding the extra cutout ontop…. The hard bit was letting it all dry thoroughly!!

Once properly dry I sanded the legs down to give it a distressed look, and even ran fine sandpaper along the edges of the table, slightly marking the paper to give it a vintage look.

So…. Here it is! It now proudly sits on my landing and everyone who comes over to visit comment how fab it looks!

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Have you ever upcycled something like this? Do you have any decoupage tips? Comments below!